i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
