No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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