Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
