You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
