wakey wakey hands off snakey
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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