college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
