i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
