He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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