I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
