my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
