is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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