Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
