That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
