You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
