I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
