you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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