Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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