three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
