I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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