Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Its about making memories worth repressing
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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