Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
