Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
