It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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