And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
