ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
