What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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