You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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