Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
