Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
