so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
