Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
