So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
