ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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