My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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