Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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