Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
