trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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