I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
