No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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