My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
