I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
