How'd it feel making her break her religion?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
