I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
