i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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