"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
