1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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