This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Text me some of your sweat
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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