BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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