i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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