To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
