What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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