she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
