just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
