Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
